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You Don't Have to Do it All! 
Valid Reasons for Saying “No”

Updated: Sep 16

Every other month, we host a free Parent Support Group for families of twice-exceptional (2e) children in partnership with Parents Helping Parents (PHP). In our latest session, we had the pleasure of welcoming Lital, a longtime member of our private REEL 2e Google group. As a fellow parent, Lital shared her invaluable insights on prioritizing the next steps after receiving a new diagnosis or reevaluating recommendations for your child.


It’s common to feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of recommendations for services, therapies, and appointments that come with a new diagnosis or evaluation. Everything can feel urgent as if it all “needs” to be done immediately. But Lital reminded us that trying to tackle everything at once isn’t always the answer. Instead, it’s an excellent time to sit down and ask some thoughtful questions about your family’s priorities and needs. This approach worked for her family and aligns with recent research published in JAMA Pediatrics (June 2024), which found that increasing the intensity of interventions didn’t necessarily lead to better outcomes for children.


Practical Ways to Approach New Recommendations


Lital encouraged parents to slow down and ask thoughtful questions when deciding which services and therapies are truly the best fit for their child and family. To make the decision-making process a little easier, she categorized some important considerations that can help families think about “what’s next” from different perspectives.


Valid Reasons for Saying “No” or “Not Now”

  • You don’t have time (due to your job, family needs, or multiple kids)

  • You don’t have the financial resources for all of it

  • Your child isn’t interested or willing

  • You don’t believe it will help, or you don’t agree with the goal or approach

Bigger Picture Questions

  • What are my family’s priorities right now?

  • What are my own priorities right now?

  • Which therapy is most urgent for my child at this moment?

  • Am I addressing a short-term issue or planning for long-term development?

  • Where do I envision my child and family in 5, 10, 15, or 20 years?

  • What are the top five actions I can take that will likely have the most significant impact on my child’s progress? (These may or may not involve therapy)

Questions to Ask Before Starting an Intervention

  • What specific outcomes do I hope to achieve from this intervention?

  • Is my child on board? Will they enjoy or tolerate it?

  • Do I agree with the philosophy behind this therapy? Is it affirming to neurodiversity?

  • How much time will it take, and will it require additional effort at home (exercises, reinforcement, etc.)? Is that realistic for us?

  • Is it evidence-based? (For example, play therapy and vision therapy are not evidence-based for ADHD or autism.)

  • Is there a clear treatment plan, and how will I evaluate progress?

  • Is it covered by insurance?

  • Are providers currently available, and how long am I willing to wait?

For a deeper dive, explore Lital’s full slide presentation, where she provides additional questions to help guide your decision-making.

Remember, our 2e Parent Support Groups are a great place to connect with others who understand the unique challenges and joys of raising 2e children in today’s world. Visit our Events page to explore our upcoming speaker series and to register for the next 2e Parent Support Group, hosted by REEL 2e in partnership with PHP. We would love to see you there

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